i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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