since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Randomize
