I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize