would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
