I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
