Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
