I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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