A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
North Korea, Best Korea!
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
