I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
