ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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