I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize