The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I think a kid would responsible me up
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Randomize