Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
my poor anus
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
