He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
