it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Everything about him screamed your future.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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