What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
