you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
So squirting runs in the family.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
