You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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