Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
