you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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