I didn't shave. On purpose
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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