What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
