maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Randomize
