ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
