Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
