I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
You need a sexual gate keeper
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Randomize
