It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
