I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize