You really coming over, don't trick.
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
