You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
i would punch a child for taco bell
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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