Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
