the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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