areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
