It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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