Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
