i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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