The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Randomize
