Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
