I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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