he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
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