just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize
