so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
