so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
