I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
