i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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