Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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