you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
