what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
The Olympian is in my bed
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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