Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
