my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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