made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
