I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Randomize