somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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