Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize